Sharing Ideas Sharing Thoughts

 I am proud to say that today marks the 12th straight year of unbroken daily practice of meditation and exercise. This is my personal best.  On March 09th, 2012, I decided to start meditation. Obviously I couldn't see this far then. And I wasn't sure about how long will I be able to continue. But God has been kind and I am going strong. I meditate twice a day (morning & evening) and I also do freehand exercises twice daily for 15 minutes. And I have not missed a single practice of meditation or exercise (that is twice daily) since last 12 years.  I consider this a great personal achievement.

 After writing on the blogger for 10 years, I have now starting writing on a new platform - https://vimals.substack.com/

Most people are wired to seek status and success, not necessarily happiness. I guess it's always a battle between "Pleasure" (burst of dopamine based happiness) and "Meaning" (long-term peace within).  The first step is to identify this fight that we constantly have inside our head. It is possible that pleasure completely rules the kingdom of our mind. But the soldiers of "meaning" can be awakened anytime. They never die completely.  It is important to succeed and become financially independent but can't we see that even after achieving our goals most of us are still miserable. I know of a man who is poorer after he made lots of money. He had a wonderful relationship with money earlier but now he is so possessed by the idea of protecting and growing his pile of money. He is not kind to himself or to others.  The second step is to wage a war. Daily battles in which we will lose initially but constant "practice" will help us gain more gro

Since 2015, I have been in a constant "learn and Build" mode. Like all immigrants almost everything was new for us in Canada and we had to learn to be a part of this new system. Top this up with the academic learning of my MBA. Drip by drip we did it like countless others but all of the above pales in comparison to the "Learn and Build" mode that I was sucked into after my MBA. From learning how to start and run a company, to building a product to learning about an industry, about the suppliers and customers, technical stuff, regulations -  the list is endless. Constantly scouting for new opportunities and problem solving on a daily basis made the whole experience very intense. I would argue that more than the external learning, the highlight of the last several years has been the internal deep dives that I  took to learn more about myself. Learning is followed with improvements and therefore this iterative process has helped me create a new improved version of mys

 There are three ways to know how much progress you have made: 1. First - Acknowledgement or approval from others. This can happen at two levels - global and local. Let's first take the recognition at the highest level. Let's say winning a Nobel Prize or an Oscar. Data suggests that the fame is short-lived, controversial and impersonal. The public will soon find their next hero.  At a local level - say within our company, it feels good to be celebrated. And it is indeed an acknowledgement of our hard work. But is it an indicator we should watch? There is no doubt that recognition is reassuring but it is not something worth aspiring for. We are better off focusing on the task at hand than on the result. 2. Second - Compare yourself with others. This is never fulfilling. Rich want to get super-rich. The truth is - man can never have enough of anything. One may experience all sorts of negative emotions when comparing oneself with others.  3. And finally the third way is to ask - A

Imagine a highway on which all of us are driving our cars. We can obviously drive our car the way we want.  But aren't we often frustrated about not driving our car to it's full potential. We end up with wishful thinking and regrets. Now imagine this - while driving our own car, we decided to call someone we care for. A few minutes into the call, we realize that he is not driving his car perfectly (as per us). And then we start sharing driving tips. he didn't ask for it but our good intention and deep love makes us share this unasked advice. And then we try to persuade him to drive his car in a way we feel appropriate.  He doesn't take our advice and we are the more frustrated.  Then why do we always try to steer others car?  Why can't we focus on our driving? Control the Controllables!

 Humans are fragile! We should be empathetic about others feelings.  "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel" -  Carol Buchner, Maya Angelou, and others. Let me use the analogy of scratches on the car. It hurts, when we find a new scratch on our car. It may leave us a bit bitter inside. The scratches and scuffs on our car don't go away. The car is still usable and we move on. Similarly, most humans have emotional scars they may be unaware of. Our job is to make sure that we avoid hurting someone. Just be mindful of your words and actions.  I recently read somewhere - 'if this was the last time you are speaking with someone, how will you speak?' I don't mean that we should should be trapped in this fear while talking to people. I am suggesting that we should be more thoughtful and kind.  Be thankful for every moment you have with people around you. And above all - Love Unconditionally!

One of the reason why we cannot attain mastery is because we hold a short term view on almost everything.  We don't want to wait to see the results of our actions. We want tangible outcomes; right now. Our default setting is -  actions (input) = result (output).  We don't want to factor in time here.  One reason for this behavior is that we crave for certainty. We feel that there is no guarantee that working patiently on something over a long period of time will result in something rare & beautiful.  The marshmallow experiment is an apt example to prove this. However, we need to fine tune it to fit our case. In the experiment, the marshmallow is the prize for patience. There is no long term grind expected from the child.  If we are building something, we lay one brick at a time. And we do this joyfully over a long time. We start with a plan and we do have a framework. But we focus on laying this one brick that is in our hand!

If a rookie salesman is asked to sell a pen then most likely he will be aggressive, forceful, and desperate. He will jump on to explaining all the great features of the pen. A seasoned one will first check if the customer is in the market for a pen. If the answer is negative then the salesperson will not waste his time on this person. You cannot sell something to someone when he/she doesn't need it /want it.  If the customer is indeed in the market for a pen then a good salesperson will ask a series of questions to understand the exact needs & and pain points of the customer. The selling process will be easy and smooth after this. I am not saying that the sale will close but I am sure that this will build a relationship. Selling is all about people. Caring for them, helping them - genuinely. Similarly, we should not give unsolicited advice. Our intentions don't matter. If someone is not interested then it's a waste of time and effort. 

 We live in a world of specialization. Scottish economist, Adam Smith pioneered the idea of specialization in a free-market system. Smith highlighted that a group of workers will be far more productive if they specialized in one aspect of production. This is how our world works today. And that is why we look for specific skills and experience when hiring someone. Some people among these 'specialists' will identify inefficiencies in the system and will find ways to make things - faster, better and cheaper. But this optimization will max out at some point. To take things to the next level, we need new thinking.  Our world is large and complex. One cannot keep all the details in our brains. We need mental models - which is a representation of how things work. We need people who can simplify and model the various sub-worlds and develop an understanding of "How The World Works". These generalist can see the connections between the sub-systems of our world and therefore can

 Do simple things. For happiness and success.  Most of your peers are falling by the way side because they are imagining problems. 1. Sleep by 10 pm. Wake up by 6 am. 2. Food - Eat two good nutritious meals everyday  'on time' . Avoid processed foods and sugars. By doing this your gut health and overall health will be significantly better. And that itself will bring success and happiness.  3. Exercise - Basic stretching and strengthening exercises - 20 minutes daily. Do not miss. Yoga is ideal. No need for gym/marathons. Remember the aim is - good health and not social approval.  4. Study / Work - Deliver on time (even if the work is not perfect). Keep your mind open. Be curious. 5. Character - Make promises & Keep them. Be kind. Be helpful. Have highest integrity. 6. Web / Phone / Social - Minimize endless browsing. Your self-worth is determined by what you do and not by what your peers think. They are lost themselves. Believe in yourself. 7. Relationships - Just a few peo

We have played all three parts countless times throughout our lives.  Let me explain! Let's say we do not like someone's idea, opinion or belief. We first adopt the role of a judge by decreeing that their idea is flawed (We believe that ours is the best) Then we get into the lawyer mode by lining up our arguments to prove them wrong. (we want to win here) And since usually the other party won't agree, we feel miserable. We experience several negative emotions, such as anger, disgust, frustration. We now blame them for our emotional distress.  My take -  1. " Strong Opinions, weakly held " is a great way to be mentally agile. I am willing to change my mind in the light of new information.  2. People don't change because you are logical. The more forcefully you argue the more the other party digs in the heels. Present the information and encourage them to think for themselves. 

Have you done any experiments with your life? Or have you always accepted the safety & the status quo?  If you do not try new things in your life then its like having the exact same food and wearing the exact same dress everyday.  I think there is merit in moving out of our comfort zone and to have an inquiry mindset. That's when we discover not just new things but also our true potential. Looking closely you will notice that we are conditioned by what surrounds us.  Since childhood we believed in what we were told. It sounded safe and practical. Isn't it a survival mindset. Does it sound like we were too afraid to think for ourselves. How about doing small tweaks. How about asking some good questions? How about listening to your heart. When we find meaning in our life, we forge a path forward. That's when the thought of tomorrow excites us. Because that's when we have a purpose in life. 

 In his book - Drive - author Dan Pink talks about the importance of intrinsic motivation. Human motivation is largely intrinsic. It is something that comes from within.  Part of the magic of learning and doing is that we are inspired to do it. We are drawn towards that task. No one is forcing us to do it. It doesn't mean that when someone asks us to do something (like in a school or in a job) we cannot do it well. We certainly can. But at some level we have chosen to be there. For example if I make you sit in a classroom in the Harvard University, you will learn only if you choose to make the effort. Similarly, I can give you the summary of a book but you will get it only when you have found those nuggets yourself.  Life is all about making choices. Choose well and choose often.

 An AI (Artificially Intelliegent) program is only as good as the training it got and the data set it was fed. If the code is not excellent, if the data is not sufficient / relevant then the outcome is not going to be great. So it is with humans.  If we listen to, or read from, or get inputs from the same sets of people, books or media channels then we will be limited.  We socialize with our type of people and we gravitate towards the same type of books. Therefore, subconsciously we reinforce our beliefs and opinions. We do this because it makes us feel right.  Like a politician we campaign only to only our base and lobby for their approval. Let's challenge our assumptions and step out of your comfort zone.  "Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage" - Brene Brown

 To grow we need intellectual curiosity, a bias for action and a method to avoid repeating our mistakes. However, most of us are in self-destruct and self-paralysis mode. We all know what needs to be done and yet we fail to do it. This makes us feel miserable.  But why do we let ourselves suffer? Is it fear? Is it laziness? Or is it lack of will-power? Great people on the other hand go through the following virtuous cycle -  Curiosity -> Learn -> Action -> Mistakes -> Reflect -> Learn.  Successful people are a learning machine. They understand that taking action and not repeating the same mistakes are essential for moving forward. They have strong will and exceptional awareness. They may not have the highest IQ but they have good concentration and a very high EQ.  Therefore, the question is - what can someone who struggles with 'growth' do? Obviously good intentions are not sufficient. We need something more. I think the following may help: 1. Choose just one thi

Where in this spectrum does the young generation fall (age 15-30)? I'd argue that many people from this age group are not as mentally strong as their parents. They have a sense of entitlement and they lack gratitude.  There has been too much of "entitlement talk" for this generation and therefore let's try and break this down and see if it is true for this group of youngsters.   A sense of entitlement refers to the belief that one deserves certain privileges, benefits, or special treatment, without necessarily having earned them. This can manifest in different ways, such as expecting others to cater to one's needs, feeling deserving of success or recognition without putting in the necessary effort, or feeling that the rules don't apply to oneself. A person with a sense of entitlement may feel that they are entitled to certain opportunities, resources, or advantages, simply because of who they are, rather than because of their skills, qualifications, or hard

It happens to the best. From successful sportsmen to the average Joe.  We literally imagine things and punish ourselves. Somehow we are very creative in this pursuit.  Our rational mind may be telling us to stop imagining and start acting and yet we procrastinate and undermine ourselves. And that leads to self-paralysis (and in many cases partial self-destruction). We lose valuable time and self-esteem. And this weighs us down. It challenges our ability to see clearly our path forward and we may ask - "How can I know the right course of action, let alone peace of mind".  There is a simple way out 1. Take deep breaths. Do this often when you feel nervous. 2. Set small goals.  3. Force yourself to take action. This is the most important part.  4. Reward yourself. Please remember that there is no rescue boat. Nobody can / will come to save you. We have to fight and win this mental battle. 

Just close your eyes and ask - How many people feel that you are a good person? That you are not just thinking about yourself but about others too. That your heart is in the right place. Do these people think that you are a person of integrity. That you have empathy & compassion.  And do you think you are a 'kind' person? What do you think your values are? What is your true identity? This self-enquiry may perhaps help us understand what is important. Are we becoming the person we wish to become.  Because deep down we all are good. Sometimes we get scared about our future and start following the herd blindly. And we make the wrong choices. 

I am proud to say that today marks the 11th straight year of unbroken 11 years of daily practice of meditation and exercise. This is my personal best.  On March 09th, 2012, I decided to start meditation. Obviously I couldn't see this far then. And I wasn't sure about how long will I be able to continue. But God has been kind and I am going strong. I meditate twice a day (morning & evening) and I also do freehand exercises twice daily for 15 minutes. And I have not missed a single practice of meditation or exercise (that is twice daily) since last 11 years. I consider this a great personal achievement. As Paramhansa Yogananda said, "Meditation is concentration on God". Just like when we concentrate on our work, sports, reading, driving and so many things, when we concentrate on God and keep the distractions away then that activity is called meditation. Of course, peace is a by-product. It is not the target.  Is it hard? Yes and no! Depending upon your level of conc

Whatever we do everyday in our life; the work we do, the places we go to, the people we meet, the food we eat, the routine we keep,  - it should all be meaningful. It should be intentional. We should be living consciously.  Our thoughts & action should not only be a means of our self expression but should also help us grow into what we intend to be.  Often we make choices that do not truly reflect our identity. Sometimes we are too afraid. Sometimes, we don't make choices we'd like to. Instead we settle for something 'safe'.  How about living an authentic life? A life of purpose and meaning.  Let's live an inspiring life with creative variations.  Lets discover and pursue what we personally find meaningful. Let's embark on a journey of hope & transformation. Of learning & growth. Of adventure. 

The most important thing in life can be summed up in just these two words. Action - Take lots of action. Constantly. It means showing up and shipping out. 'just doing it' rather than overthinking, having analysis paralysis, doing wishful thinking etc. I am not saying one need to be rash in taking a decision and be mad about activity. Please think through a situation and then jump right in. You will be never more ready. It's about having a bias for action. Trying more improves the overall chances of success. It also improves our ability to take the next step. It's the opposite of over planning and believing that your first shot will hit the target. Even a lion has to run after 10 antelopes to get one (these are real stats). And lion is the king of the jungle. Perhaps we need to try 20 or 30 times to get it right or to do a sale. I have seen that those who move out and show up and are unafraid of taking action are the one's who are successful and happy. All top athele

 We work hard to earn and save money. But do we ever visualize what a typical day be like when you are old and retired from work? There are three important question to consider.  1. Will we have enough money to continue leading a good life? 2. How will our health be? 3. What will we do with all the time we will have?  We work on our retirement savings when we are younger and usually, we save enough for old age. In fact we over save. But do we do enough for the question # 2 & 3 above? Don't you think, it's a good idea to work on your health now? Just like we maintain our cars, should't we look after our physical health now and do whatever it takes to stay healthy? And when we are retired, the excess time will stare at us through the day (and night...think about it). We will not know what to do with so much time. Shouldn't we be developing some habits (such as reading, writing, meditation, social work etc) that will fill our days with purpose? In fact the excess free

 When someone you care for cannot see your point of view, it frustrates us. We classify our understanding as 'common sense' and therefore cannot fathom the non-acceptance of something so obvious (to us). That is precisely the point. It's obvious to us and not to the other person because we all have a different world view. We will be wiser if we realize that our aim should not be to align the other person to our world view. We can definitely present our idea and discuss it. But if they cannot see what we are seeing then the vice-versa is also true. We should therefore expand our consciousness. Imagine a very large pitch dark warehouse with thousands of aisles. Let's say there are 10 people in this warehouse and each one has a flashlight. Each one can therefore see only as far as the light shines around him. Now, you may shout from aisle 139 to your friend in aisle 20 and if you expect him to mould his understanding based on your consciousness, then that will be futile. I

"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" is a book by Yuval Noah Harari that explores the history of the human species. The book covers a wide range of topics, including the evolution of human biology, the development of human societies, and the rise of various political and economic systems. The book begins by discussing the origins of Homo sapiens, the species to which all modern humans belong. It then goes on to explore the development of human societies, including the rise of agriculture, the development of language and communication, and the growth of complex political and economic systems. The book also looks at the impact of various historical events, such as the rise and fall of empires and the development of modern technologies. Overall, "Sapiens" is a sweeping and ambitious work that provides a broad overview of human history. It offers a unique perspective on the development of our species, and provides insights into how we came to be the dominant species

 We often find people sharing or asking about the best advice that they ever received. One may also ask older people about - what they think is the really important stuff in our lives? However, there is no universal answer to this. We all have unique life and each person who is asked this question will share the thoughts based on his / her experience. Even if we collated all these wise words we may still not be able to come to a common answer. I often struggled with this one question - "What is that one thing knowing which one will know everything else". The answer is - "God! We are here for self- realization". For years I tried to distill my thoughts on this and I'll admit that although, something in me tells me that this is true, I haven't yet realized this.  I also analyzed what great people have shared as an answer to the "best advice ever" question. I found that each person spoke about what they thought was important and they all shared some r

I love speaking with [or reading about] people who have had near death experience. Almost all of them say 2 things: 1. Life is short and uncertain. Don't postpone doing things that you always wanted to do. 2. Don't waste time on things that do not matter. It's the people in your life that matter. Love unconditionally.  If you were given a gift, in which you were able to see into the future and come back and live then what would you do differently?  1. What would you get done that you are waiting to get done, because you think you will be here forever. 2. How will you change your relationship and the negative energy in them? Related post - The 3 Things We All Want The 3 things we all want The 3 things we all want The 3 things we all want

We all want predictability and certainty in our lives. Whereas, all of us know from " our own " experience that life is full of chaos and complexity. The fact remains that life is non-linear and asynchronous. Wouldn't we be happier if we embrace transitions and willingly transform ourselves into our newer and better version. If we don't renew and update ourselves then we wouldn't grow. Perhaps the reason why we are here is to become a better human being. And to know who we truly are.   There is no destination. It's all about the journey and being present in every moment of our life. 

 I turned 50 last Sunday and a friend suggested that I should write a post - "50 things I learnt in 50 years of my life". However, we all have a unique outlook on life. And we have our own beliefs and convictions. These are shaped by our experiences. Hence, my ideas may not work for you. Further, it depends on what we'd like to get out of our lives. I'd therefore share some thoughts on success and happiness - knowing which most other things can be known. These are my life's work and the essence of my life's learning.  1. The first question we should ask ourselves is - Why are we(you) here? What are you living for? I don't think it's a great idea to live our life sub-consciously. Or be excessively influenced by the world around us. Or to live for sense pleasures. I think deep inside we all strive for "Purpose and Meaning" . And we'd do ourselves a big favour if we asked ourselves who we are and what we want. You'd be surprised, most pe

 Three things that are fairly straightforward and yet people miss them: 1. The importance of making good decisions 2. Keeping things simple 3. Common Sense I will touch upon decision making here.  We all make decisions daily. And we do well in them. But most of these decisions do not have a big impact on our lives (please read my post 10/10/10 Rule ). In our entire lifetime, we have to take just a few big decisions such as the one's below: 1. Our education - This one is perhaps the hardest because as kids or young adults most people are not sure about what they would like to do professionally. And therefore, our decision is influenced by the world around us.  Question for you - Were you very clear about what to study in college? 2. Choosing our work - For most of us, this is connected to the education part. But I think listening to our inner voice and doing the work that we are drawn towards is a better way to decide. It may take longer but we'd be happier doing the work that i

Today is a big day for me. Exactly 10 years back on this day, I started practicing meditation. I meditate twice a day (morning & evening) and I also do freehand exercises twice daily for 15 minutes. It gives me great pride to share that I have not missed a single practice of meditation or exercise (that is twice daily) since last 10 years. I consider this a great personal achievement. Were there days, when I wanted to skip? Yes of course, but honestly, not too many. However, there were circumstances that made this harder sometimes. For example, travel, uncertain schedules, social norms (dinners and meet ups) etc. The morning practice is easier. If one can wake up on time then the next couple of hours are absolutely yours. Evening practice can get tricky at times. That's when, one needs to adjust the schedule or meditate just before sleeping. In fact meditating just before sleeping and immediately on waking up is the best thing.   I also feel that it's important to 'will

30 minutes before going to sleep and the first 30 minutes on waking up is what I call the Golden Hour of the day. In these 60 minutes one can connect with one's true inner self. Setting aside this time for yourself at the beginning and at the end of the day can be transformative. One can practice three things during this period:  1. Review 2. Affirmations and, 3. Visualization. The combo of these three is force multiplier.  MORNING: It helps if you are a morning person and are all by yourself during the first hour or so after you wake up. This is your 'Me' time. Practicing affirmations immediately on waking up - while you are still in the bed - accelerates the changes one is seeking within. After this having a cup of tea or coffee helps most people get their day started.  Next comes Visualization. There are three things to remember when visualizing - See clearly whatever you want, Believe that you deserve it and Feel that it is already yours. Do not complicate this simple i

Introspection is extremely important for moving forward. Reviewing your day before going to bed can give you extraordinary results and set you on the path of self-mastery. When we judge our actions objectively, it is good to be critical. But there is also just as much or more value in being one's best friend.  If I have to choose between a harsh critic or being nice to myself then I'd completely avoid being harshly self-critical and go for being my best friend.  There is no doubt that we all have noise in our heads. But the internal dialogue we have with ourselves and the story we tell ourselves projects into the future. We become what we feel. If you ever see someone giving harsh feedback to someone then it's quite likely that he will give himself feedback in the same heartless tone. They brutally lash themselves and others when they get a chance. This is definitely counter-productive. However, if we can see our mistakes objectively and develop the following shooter's

Last night I had a dream in which I was in a train station in India. This was my destination station and after the train stopped, I and my family started unloading my luggage on the platform. Since, we had some extra luggage, I had to go back in to fetch the balance luggage. While I was inside, I saw from the window that someone on the platform was trying to steal one of my items. I jumped out and followed this guy. By the time I caught hold of this person, I had come quite far. I was in a small shopping area on the station. I have clear recollection of the shops in the area. On my way back, I was a bit lost and couldn't come to the place where I was originally getting off. I had to then ask someone for directions. I navigated per his direction and crossed a small old bridge and then some steps and a heavy door that I had to open to come on platform number 3 where my rain was supposed to be. But, I found out here that the train was on platform number 4. I had to then take an underg

Do actions performed sub-consciously count? Do they get deposited in our karma bank? No. Sub-conscious actions are based on past tendencies and are habit induced. Hence, these count as neutral actions. We do not move forward (or backward) when we are performing actions absent minded-ly. However, if we are conscious while performing a habitual action then it is counted. Indeed being mindful is blissful.  Being in the moment is supremely important.

When we talk to God, almost always we are asking for something. Make this OK, if only I can get this, help me get that, change this, make that happen etc. The language, tone and the form may vary but our relationship with Him is always of a 'taker'. We are always in a desire fulfillment mode. We have an idea about how our life should unfold in the short and long term and we desperately want that. As if that particular 'outcome'(s) will make us happy. And this method (or idea) of ours never works. It has never worked for anyone, ever. Firstly, God doesn't give you something because you asked for it. Secondly, getting what we asked for will make us temporarily happy and then we will be ready to ask for the next thing.  So what's a better way. I guess - instead of asking try and give your love. Unconditionally. And say - "let it be your will dear Lord". After that just do your part well. However, the following prayer taught by my Guru - Paramhansa Yoganan

 We all have heard about the tribal chief who is telling the story to his people of two dogs that are constantly fighting in his mind, and the one he feeds wins. We are a sum total of our habits. Good habits propel us forward and the bad one pull us back. Surprisingly, we act sub-consciously when we act per our habits. So, how do we change our habits?  It's quite simple. Action is the food for habits. Feed good habits with corresponding actions and refuse to cooperate with bad ones.  This may feel hard in the beginning but efforts will accumulate and it gets easier as we go. Being conscious of our actions (and thoughts) is important. Then comes the will to act. To summarize - Be aware, use your will power to act and have patience. Bonus: Reviewing our day before sleep helps. 

Three things help in better memory: 1. Attention - Are you mindful during reading and listening? If not then it's likely that you may not remember the details. For example, if you are talking while driving then you are likely to miss a turn. Consciousness is where the awareness is.  2. Association - Neurons work on associations. the stronger (and weird) associations we can form the better will be our recall for that data. 3. Sleep - Having 7-8 hours of sleep is essential for goog health and memory. I think this pretty much sums it up.  PS: People complain that they cannot remember names. Imagine, if I asked you to remember someone's name and gave you $ 1 million each time I asked you and you gave me the right answer. Will you ever forget it?

Imagine this! If we can access the minds of other people through a device. Won't we then experience gratitude and empathy simultaneously? Everyone has a noise in their head. That monologue is loud. We all have unique narratives, struggles, challenges. If we had access to other's mind then we would know their pain and be able to empathize with them. Simultaneously, we will feel grateful for so many things that we have and most other people don't. You don't need a device to actually connect to someone's brain. A bit of imagination helps. If we put in the effort and devote the time to practice the skill of empathy and gratitude, we can get better at it.

 We would like things to happen in a certain way. We try and control behaviors (hugely), we are obsessed with outcomes and we dislike change.  What if we focused on the present, give our 'A' game and merge with the outcomes. And then we take on the next moment. And so on. If this sounds possible then I am happy for you because we improve as a person only when we are focused in the present moment. Call it mindfulness / awareness / being conscious / concentration - it all means the same. What if we flow with things and not resist them. In martial arts one does not stop an opponents blow with brute force. Instead, one is trained to use the opponents force and use it against him (or her). Each person sees the world differently. They have their own narratives and own judgement. No one is right or wrong. We are all unique - with diferent experience, data and goals. Then why should I expect someone to see what I am seeing. I can share my POV when asked and give an advise when someone

 It gives me great pride to share that I have not missed a single day of meditation since last 9 years. God's grace! I meditate twice a day and also do freehand exercises twice daily for 15 minutes. This makes me say that when one is intrinsically motivated he/she can do anything. Step by step we can travel a million miles. 

When a decision seems hard, think about how you’ll feel about it in 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years from now?  It’s quite likely that you won’t even remember it was a big deal. This can help you put things in perspective.  This hack simplifies decision making and now you can focus on the more important aspect - the action.  

After the Covid pandemic is over and when we start going to office as usual, a question may pop-up in our mind - how well did we use this time? Were we  productive or we wasted a golden opportunity? Isn’t this a time to do all that we always wanted to do but never had time for? There are so many things that we can do. Such as - Learn Something - Coding, a language, an instrument, cooking etc. Read – good time to catch up on your reading. Write - Share your thoughts & experiences. May be write a book or a blog. Or may be write just for yourself by starting a journal.  Organize – Your data, house, kitchen, wardrobe. Throw stuff you no longer use. Fitness & Well-being – Exercise, meditation, deep thinking. Build something – Home improvement, work in your garden Financials – Re-evaluate your finances and make a new plan. Play and have fun – Spend time with family. This is a good time to bond together. We also have the choice to sleep late, ove

There are three positions of the eye 1. Looking upwards 2. Looking straight 3. Looking down Aren't we looking down when we are using screens (especially mobiles). And we do that " A LOT". Looking down is a sub-conscious act. It makes us passive.

Because we don't understand the nature of life. We are not the director of this movie. We just have a role to play. And all we need to do is to play our part well. When we want the life to happen our way and when most of the time it doesn't (obviously) then we feel unhappy. Loss of control makes us suffer. So desires are the root cause. Further, our ignorance - that we are separate from God - is the deeper reason for our suffering here. We identify ourselves as an individual and see God as something elusive or separate. Our consciousness is limited to the small sphere around our mind. If and when we can expand this consciousness, we will experience greater peace and joy. Let's come back to the first sentence now and understand the nature of life? The answer is  - Change is the nature of life. There will always be ups and downs. Duality is built into this illusive, relative world. When we realize that whatever is happening to us (and others) is as per God's gr

Today marks the 8th straight year of my exercise and meditation routine. Twice a day, everyday, since March 09th, 2012, I have been doing my freehand exercise and meditation. I feel proud that I didn't miss the meditation or the exercise even once. God's grace!

I am very proud to say that my daily routine of meditating twice a day has been uninterrupted since March 09th, 2012.  I have also been exercising twice daily for 15 minutes since the above date. These are freehand exercises. Feels great to say that I didn't miss the meditation or the exercise even once. God's grace!

We do this to ourselves by having negative self-talk, by doubting our capabilities, by willfully reducing our self-worth, by failing to set high goals, by failing to try, by feeling low, by not believing in ourselves and by finding innovative ways to beat ourselves up. The marginal cost of degrading ourselves is worth considering. Because it adds up. 

My lifelong endeavor has been and will continue to be - how to be a better human being? How can I do better than yesterday? How can I be more authentic, more present, how can I give more and ask less, how can I be more positive, and maintain my sanity in spite of all the noise in my head, how can I expand my consciousness to see that we are all connected?

This may be a good way to live your life - "How to be your best in the present moment; without attaching yourself to the fruits of your action." "Wholehearted Action" in short.

There are people who try, work hard and don't give up. And there are people who don't. Know what you want, make a plan, give your best and don't rest till it's done.

Let me skip discussing the importance of planning. Focus or concentration is super-important for succeeding. All great business person, sportsmen, leaders, scientists etc. exhibited an ability to remove all distractions and focus their attention on one object. The next part is to visualize the execution. It does not mean wishing or hoping that one will succeed. It is about mentally (visually) rehearsing all the steps that will follow. Now execute and give your 'A' game. The prize is already yours. You just have to go and get it.

Learn to trust life

Consciously or sub-consciously, if we evaluate a situation for our personal benefits and ask "what's in it for me" then we may need to reflect a bit. Similarly, during social/professional interactions if we judge a person by his status and ask, "how can this guy be useful for me / how can I benefit from him" then we need to reflect more. Perhaps we are taking more than we are giving. And there should be no shame in this because we have been moulded like that. And we act out of fear of losing something. What if we decide to challenge our assumptions and start seeing things differently? What if we see how can we help someone and how can I give more?

Why are we here? What is the purpose of our lives? These are interesting questions. I think: Our roles are defined and the script is written. All we have to do is to 'play our part well'. It's a complex, real-time, 24x7, 3D, immersive movie. Our interactions and events are defined and the stage is set. We are hooked to this world through our senses which results in our 'ego' taking over our wisdom. What we have to strive for is - to give our 'A' game in ' each ' moment and stay untouched by this delusion? It doesn't matter what our role is; we have to live our part well so that this cosmic movie is a grand success. PS: We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game - Randy Pausch

I have been meditating twice daily since March 09th, 2012. Today, I complete 6 years of this activity.  I have also been exercising twice daily for 15 minutes since the above date. These are freehand exercises. By the grace of God, I never missed the meditation or the exercise even once. So I devote at least an hour daily to these two activities. Lets do the Math. 6 x 365 = 2190 hours. I am closer to the 10,000-hour target.

In her TED talk - my failed mission to find God - Anjali Kumar shares the 3 common things that we all seek; Health, Happiness and Love.  This isn't something we don't know and yet these 3 simple things are usually out of our reach.  In my view, these are not goals but a way of life; and with practice, we can experience fulfillment in life. So, what can we do? 1. For health - eat right, think right and exercise. [Not feeling good about oneself will likely lower immunity and bring sickness.] 2. For Happiness - I am still figuring this out. Let's find out WHY we get unhappy. It is when things don't go as EXPECTED. Aha! DESIRES are the root cause. Maybe focusing on the action instead of the result is the key. Thinking about the outcome makes us worried and fearful. We can learn from kids who are happy without a reason. So how about reducing control, 'letting go' and loosening ourselves a bit. Additional thoughts. Giving freely, practicing kin

This one is for the teenager's and young adults When someone asks you a question, 1. Listen deeply and understand the question. Know what exactly is being asked. 2. Don't be in a hurry to answer. Let him finish. Think through your response. Use the time to create a structure in your mind. 3. Get to the good stuff ASAP. Preferably in the first sentence. And then support your answer with evidence and reasoning. 4. Be brief and to the point. 5. Use examples, stories to illustrate when required. An Example: Qn: What is your short-term professional goal? An average answer is like: Well! I have been discussing this with my friends and mentor's and there are a number of things that I am passionate about. I have always been interested in the financial world but I also have a strong bias for technology. But, I think I'd like to become a successful wall street trader in 5 years from now. A better one: I see myself as a Director in a top financial firm in 5 years.

Why do we eat? Because we are hungry or to provide nutrition to the body to stay healthy What do we sleep? Because we are tired or because we are re-charging our body for the next awesome day. Why does a student go to school? To get certifications or to learn. Why do we work? To make money or to seek fulfillment by doing something that excites us. To follow our purpose, our passion. Why do we wake up in the morning? Because we have to go to work or because we are drawn towards a higher goal - to serve others through our unique gifts. In the above questions, if you answered the former then maybe you are drifting in time and space - you are sleeping. And if you chose the latter then you have propulsion and rudder - you are awake.

We want an ideal life. Everything in our lives should be right. We seek good health, lots of money, happiness, love... But that is not the nature of life. Life will have it's ups and downs and we should face those enthusiastically. We want consistent results. Instead, we should aim for consistent effort. We must strive to play our part well and to give our best in every moment. While simultaneously having fun because challenges make life exciting. Will you go for a movie in which everything is perfect from the beginning to the end? So enjoy this roller-coaster ride, stop comparing, give in your best and be grateful for what you have.

In life, we win some and lose some. And we try and maximize our wins. In the process, we let our emotions impact our performance. Constant worry about the prize may make us fearful. A better way to live life is to always give our 'A' game without worrying about win or loss. PS: This does not take away the importance of goal setting. Rather, it implies to focus our mind on the work and not the result. 

"Don't change my circumstances, change me". "Kindly guide me and strengthen me" This sounds like a good prayer because we are asking God to give us the strength to overcome the obstacles. We are seeking success through empowerment. Instead of begging to God, we can express our need in simple words and assure him of our best efforts. Similarly, when we ask someone for help, the main component of work must stay with us. And the other person should be the source of guidance and support. 

When someone says or does something that we do not approve, we get hurt. And we mull over the incident over and over again, thereby preventing our emotional healing. To heal a wound we need to stop touching it. To stop thinking about it we must "let go" - forgive. When we forgive (genuinely), we stop feeling hurt and that gives us joy. We feel encouraged to engage with that person again and then re-establish the relationship. At times, we may realize that there was some misunderstanding or maybe we were partly responsible.  Forgiveness requires compassion, empathy, a willingness to understand the other person (someone hurts you when he is unhappy himself). It also requires common sense - because we should do things that are beneficial for the good of self and others. One of the ways to forgive someone is to visualize good things for him. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Louis B. Smedes

I have been struggling with this question since last 15 years. I used to think it was awareness. Which is true but I am sure there is more to it. I think consciousness is - " Your sense of being" - "Your identity as you know it". It is the sum total of who you think you are. All your experiences, knowledge and wisdom. The above explanation links it to the "ego". And that is how we limit our consciousness. We draw boundaries, we consider ourselves as separate. We fail to see the inter-connected-ness. For example, the wave in the ocean may feel it is separate from other waves and/or the vast ocean. In reality - they are all the same. When a wave dies, it merges in the ocean. And then rises again as a new wave. That is why wise people ask us to expand our consciousness. To realize that we are all one. The following talks are helpful to develop the understanding and Paramhansa Yogananada has explained it beautifully in his works. Consciousness -- th

Yes, they do. We are who we are because we reinforced our belief with certain thoughts. A child who feels that he is not good at Math constantly tells himself that he can't understand Mathematics. Similarly, a woman who thinks her nose is imperfect or someone who feels that he is clumsy is augmenting their belief with those thoughts. And we rationalize this by saying - "It is true, I see it all the time". Albert Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Years of telling ourselves something makes us who we are. Similarly, if we keep good thoughts and practice affirmations, we will get into a virtuous cycle. 

Success does two things: 1. It makes you bolder 2. Doubters become Believers. It may take a little longer but eventually - "The man who wins is the man who thinks he can". Do not ever give up. Never. Never. Fight another day. Have the patience and persistence of a hunter

Let's take health. Mr. X's teeth keep troubling him. He constantly lives with pain and regularly visits his dentist. He wishes that he had taken good care of his teeth when he was younger. Mr. Y has heart issues and he has had several interventions to keep him alive. He realizes that the oily food he consumed in past is the culprit. Now, all he can eat is raw, bland food. Do you think we should motivate our children to reduce their screen time and help them maintain good vision? Apart from health, where else would you make changes if you could live your life again?

Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning are hot topics nowadays. I would like to flip this and ask - are we humans, naturally intelligent? In general, we can distinguish between right and wrong. And we know what is good for us. For example, we know about eating right, the importance of exercise, positive thinking, spending our money wisely, maintaining relationships etc. And yet we continue to repeat our mistakes. Why? Maybe we are not as good learners as we ' feel ' we are. However, simple things may help. Such as reviewing our day before going to bed, challenging our thinking and our assumptions, asking for feedback. This will give us a list of things to work on. Choose the most important. Practise till it becomes a habit. And then move to the next item. Nowadays even machines are working hard to learn and get 'intelligent'. Therefore, an ability to learn is very important. But as humans - Aren't we naturally intelligent? PS: Common Sense is anot

Asking the hard questions can be extremely uncomfortable. But we don’t learn and grow by sticking with what’s comfortable.  Some of the questions, we may ask ourselves: How do people see me differently than I see myself? What do I want my life to be like in next 5-10-40 years? Am I thinking long-term? What would I do if I wasn’t scared? What’s stopping me from doing the things that I should be doing? What’s the most important lesson I’ve learned so far in life? Am I living that lesson? What do you care most about? What do you really want?  Am I a driftwood or am I a boat with a rudder? Can I think for myself?  Do I love?

Happiness or Success? It turns out that the two are not related. Someone can be happy without being successful ( How we define success is another question)) And someone can be super successful and yet super unhappy. Many of us believe that we will be happy when we achieve our goals. But did it really work? Happiness says - I won't be yours with pre-conditions? Maybe we can learn from the children who are happy without a reason. But if I really have to choose one before the other, I'd say that someone who is happy has a positive disposition which helps in attracting success. Feeling good about oneself may be a pre-condition for success. 

What is our internal dialogue when we are sick? We say things like - I am not well. I have this pain. Etc. And how are we feeling? We hate the experience. We resist it. How about? 1. Ignoring the negative thoughts and having a positive conversation with ourselves. Such as, I am well. This is temporary and will soon be over. I am getting(feeling) better. 2. Surrendering instead of resisting. Knowing that our transgression from health laws in past has resulted in this dis-ease. And I accept it. It's OK.

Further to yesterday's post... 1. Right food - Have 3-4 small meals. First meal of the day is important. Eat slow. Chew well. Eat consciously and savor your food. Include lots of nuts & fruits (these are good snacks when hungry). prefer veggies over meat. There are plenty of protein options in vegetarian food. Avoid very spicy. oily, sour food. Reduce salt, sugar, refined flour and processed food. Eat at least one home-cooked meal. Don't be greedy for food. 2. Exercise - preferably in the morning, freehand - stretching and strengthening exercises, running is helpful. 15-30 minutes daily is good enough. Maintain the routine - rain or shine. 3. Right thoughts - Positive thinking. Be happy. Smile Additionally - sleep and wake up at the same time. Try to sleep early and wake up between 4-5 am 

1. Body posture - Keep your back straight and chin up, at all times. If you do this, you will be healthier and be able to think better. A straight back ensures that life-force energy traveling through the spine flows freely and does not get blocked. A bent back squeezes the diaphragm and lungs do not expand fully, thereby  2. Drink 10 glasses of water daily. Body and brain is about 70% water. 3. Sleep on your back for 7-8 hours. Avoid soft beds. Our body needs to be recharged and the brain cells realign during the sleep time.  4. Expose the body to 10 minutes of early morning sunlight. Please do not think of an alternative for this. Vitamin supplements are not enough.  After all, we need, food, water, air, and sunlight to stay alive.  Good health is governed by three things: 1. Right food  2. Exercise 3. Right thoughts I will write a separate post to cover the above points.

30 minutes after waking up and 30 minutes before going to sleep - is sacred. Internalize yourself during these periods. You may do the following In the morning - 1. Meditate 2. Do affirmations. 3. Think. (You may plan your day. In the order of priority, list the three things you intend to do that day) At night: 1. Review your day. 2. Meditate. Additional activities: Read and write during these periods. You may have to extend the time then. Don't's 1. Do not check your phone or computer 2. Try not to speak. Practise silence.

How does one get better? How does one become Great? The following three things help. 1. TRY - Curiosity drives us to try new things. When was the last time you tried something new? A new cuisine, a new language, a new routine. This is the beginning of our quest to grow. If the mind shouts a "BIG NO" then ignore it. The mind may say the following: - It is not practical (Conforminism) - Why do you want to do this - there is no need. (Laziness) - There is no time for this. (Efficiency, Productivity, time management issues) - It 'seems' risky. Are you crazy? (Fear) Don't be rash and stupid. But try developing the ability to take some risk. Get out of your comfort zone. Explore & experience wonder. 2.  LEARN - When you will try new stuff, you are likely to "FAIL" in many things, many times. Don't get disheartened. Analyze and learn. Most people feel that they are good learners, but very few actually are. The good news is - we can learn t

At work, do you regularly have, "hair on fire situations"? Are you always in a catch-up mode? Is it often that you have an urgent task at hand?  Don't worry! you are not alone. Most professionals, on most of the days, are frantically chasing the next thing? But why can't these smart people learn and find a better way to manage their time? Why do we live lives of physicians in an emergency room?  Please see the picture below: It's a good idea to focus on few important things and stay in quadrant 4. Planning and prioritizing will be essential for this. I use the following spreadsheet to stay in the 4th quadrant. I call it my weighted To-Do list. Items with the highest total will ascend to the top - and must be done first. You will notice the override column. I use this to award extra points to a task that needs to be done first but may not come on top of the list on its own (and vice-versa) How do you stay efficient & productive?

"The good traveler doesn't know where he is going next. The great traveler doesn't know where he came from" - Chuang Tzu. Do you like your travels perfectly planned or do you leave options for adventures? Traveling opens me up in amazing ways. My best thoughts come pouring in when I am on the move. And my best memories are from the unplanned travels. 

Imagine a small fishing village on the coast of Morocco, where every morning men go into the sea to catch - Tuna. You are a young fisherman and do the same. Every afternoon when you are back from a hard day at sea you load your catch in your truck and drive to the nearby fish market. Business was fine until recently when the brokers started demanding shrimp instead of tuna. Since your boat was good for shallow water and to catch shrimp one had to go farther, you along with many others continued to catch Tuna. Prices fell due to excess supply and you initially ignored the change. You started saying things like, "I've been in this business for 20 years and this change is temporary. You "hoped" things will change. But hope is not a good plan. Soon the truth was staring in your eyes and there wasn't sufficient demand for tuna. You also realized that you didn't have the capital to invest in a boat that could go farther to catch shrimp. You went out of business.

If a radio is broken, it cannot play a song. That does not mean that the signal is missing. Rather, it means that the radio is incapable of tuning to the broadcast. Similarly, success, wealth, health, joy etc. is always around us. We just need to tune ourselves to what we desire. We also have to believe that we deserve it and work towards our goal. And then magic will happen. Not only we will get what we want but it will seem effortless. But first, we have to be ready to receive. Friendly tip - a radio can only play one station at a time.

Three years back I wrote a post - What is that one thing knowing which everything else is known.  - in which I shared my concern about information overload. Imagine a large funnel on top of our head through which we selectively pour books and articles, audio's and video's, conversations & experiences. Ideally, the brain should process this vast amount of data and produce a few actionable points. In reality, we go through information indigestion. How can we make these things a part of our lives? Short answer : Take one thing at a time and work on it with full concentration till it becomes a habit. Then take the next. Remember, there are no Quick Fix solutions . 

Just as we cannot know the speed and position of an electron at the same time, we cannot give our 'A' game when we are attached to the outcome. Goal setting and Planning is extremely important but while executing, if we start worrying about the results, then we are injected with an unhealthy dose of emotions which prevents us from giving our best. In other words, the mind is distracted. One may use it to either be completely absorbed in the activity OR use part of it to worry about the outcome.

Let's understand this cycle. Although each step is important, let us start with Judgment. We will never have enough inputs or time to make a decision. Therefore, we make a judgment based on our experience or instinct or intuition. This ability to discriminate is what we know as wisdom. Having judged well, it becomes easy to take a decision. The next important step is execution. We take required actions completely believing in our judgment, therefore, we are committed and intrinsically motivated to give our 'A' game. With heightened awareness and visualization we mostly end up with the desired result. This result is not a prize but another opportunity created by us and the cycle continues. Are we wise enough to judge correctly? 

Success = Concentration + Practise It is not possible to succeed in everything. Therefore, choose a few things and perhaps only one thing. It is extremely important that this 'one thing' is what you love to do and are passionate about. There is no secret formula for concentration. Removing the distractions results in concentration. This may sound over-simplistic and yet this is the essence of concentration.  Mind needs to be trained. It is restless by nature and therefore when mind wavers we have to bring it back to the point of focus. One would agree that focusing is effortless and enjoyable when we are on what we love to do. Hence, choose to succeed in the thing you deeply care about. You will not give up because you love what you do. You are possessed with this idea. Taking baby steps, having shorter goals, building a routine and getting disciplined helps. Slowly things will change. But practise is essential to develop concentration. Life is all about making cho