Sharing Ideas Sharing Thoughts

I am travelling right now and apologize for not being able to share my thoughts. Meanwhile, I am sharing some ideas.. Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.  The Moneylender , who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.  So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.  He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.  1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. 2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.  3) But if she r

Ruth Chang's TED talk is interesting. ( http://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices ) Key Points 1. Making hard choices seems big, important and agonizing. It depends on how the alternatives(options) relate. We find that one is better in some way and other in another but neither is better overall. 2. Full information(clarity) can still keep the options hard. 3. It is a misconception that one is better than the other. There is no best option . It therefore makes sense to choose the less risky one. 4. These hard choices are at par(same kind-i.e., neither is better than the other but are not equal either...in fact we cannot be very objective or numerical in evaluating them). 5. So...Be the author of your own life..decide what you ought to be (this will come intuitively) and use your power to create reasons for the choice that you should make(who am I to be) 6. Drifters-allow the world to write the stories of their life. T

Last night I dreamnt that I was a Prince of a prosperous kingdom. Apart from great wealth and power at my disposition, I was endowed with good looks and a strong body. I was good in royal sports like horse riding, sword fighting and archery. When I was 18 years old, I read the story of Prince Siddartha (Later Buddha) and although, I was not denied meeting the common man, I realized that I did not have much idea about the daily struggles of life. So along with my aides and some royal guards, I set out on a journey to explore and find out some answers. I wanted to learn how it was to live like a common man.  On the 3rd day of my tour, we started climbing a small mountain range and had estimated that by sunset we should reach the village on the other side  of the mountain. But an overflowing river delayed us and we were forced to halt mid-way and spend the night in open. On this night, I dreamnt that I was a poor farmer and life had always been very difficult for me. By my princely s

Today, I was invited to speak at the CIRC (Central India Regional Council) Bareilly Branch of ICAI (Institute of Chartered Accountants of India). I spoke to the aspiring Chartered Accountants.  The talk was on Personality development and I was to cover topics such as Goal setting, Attitude, Motivation, Self-Analysis. The audience were sincere and attentive and I enjoyed communing with them. The talk was very well received and I am happy about it. I was also presented with a  memento /gift from the organizers and this makes me happier (he-he!!). But the icing on the cake was when a young man, Chetan, asked me for my autograph. This was very flattering, as no one had ever asked me for my autograph.  I obliged the request and wrote a small encouraging note for him.  I spoke on mindset, on having an inquiring mind, realizing our infinite potential, being authentic, working hard, never giving up etc. My last post in this series was very long and therefore, this time I will briefl

Every child is born with some pre-natal tendencies and is therefore  unique . There are no standard answers for parenting. The post natal environment is in our hands and this should be the area of focus. Parenting requires loads of patience. I am far from being a 'perfect father' and I am learning this art through mistakes. My most basic thoughts on Parenting are as follows : ( I have used 'he' without any bias for boys) 1. Let the child grow in an environment of constant love and affection. Nurture the child and love him for what he is. Constantly guide, help and support him in the process. 2. Bring him up like a gardener who cares for his plants. The gardener does everything with deep love and carries out his duty with sincerity and devotion. The gardener provides water, fertilizer, removes weeds and even uses harsh chemicals when needed. He provides warmth through green house and lets the plant grow on its own on abundant dose of love and affection.

Brene Brown spoke on Vulnerability on TED http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability This is my favorite talk. I have listened to it at least 10 times and have been deeply impressed by it's contents. It has been a life changer of sorts for me. Please listen to her first and then you may come back here to see the key points, that I have noted for you. If you have started reading without listening to the talk, you won't be able to relate the points. So.... # Expanding perception (this is like expanding one's consciousness) 1. Lean into discomfort 2. Connection - is why we are here. It gives purpose and meaning to our lives. 3. Shame is - fear of disconnection. Being unworthy of connection. That I am not good enough. 4. Excruciating Vulnerability - in order for connection to happen we need to allow our self to be seen. 5. Most important finding here - SENSE OF WORTHINESS - those who have it; have a strong sense of love and belong

On 29th May this year, I was invited to speak to the students of S R International School, Bareilly. The Chairman of the school wanted me to speak on ' achieving success' and  had asked me to inspire the students to excel in life. The audience were Standard 12th (A level) students.  I had spoken to many different groups in past, but this was my first motivational talk and I was really excited about it.   Realizing that these students were going through a very decisive phase of life, I started my talk with the issues that were most important to these children. I was authentic here and truly understood the physical and mental pressures they were in. After this I moved on to the importance of 'Dreaming'. But the major part of the talk was on sharing my thoughts and experiences on how one can have fulfillment in life. After putting the dots in place, I tried to connect them.  I have been too lazy to upload the video, but very soon when I do that, I will certainly sh

How does one handle crisis? Especially a situation for which one has the solutions but one is so 'frozen with fear' that it gets impossible to apply the solutions. -This has been asked by Arvind Sharma in his comment on yesterday's post. For the benefit of readers, I am expressing my thoughts in a new post. Ideas for crisis management are a dime a dozen. I believe, that there should be a simple solution for crisis too. It could be : 1. Don't let the center of your consciousness change from calmness to restlessness.  Do not let the stimuli distract you and make you restless.  Perform all activities with concentration. 2. You can calmly solve your most difficult problems by putting forth your best efforts and at the same time refusing to be disturbed. Just say to yourself, "I am happy and satisfied that I am doing the best I can. there is no reason to worry myself to death". Your focus should be on the action and not on the result. 3. A calm pe

Arvind Sharma from USA has asked me to write this post. Everyone is drawing lessons from yesterday's, world cup semi-final match between Brazil and Germany (for those who do not follow football; Germany won by an unbelievable 7-1 margin. In fact they were leading 7-0 till the last few minutes). Apart from the usual prescription of - 'never underestimate your opponent', 'have a strategy for crisis' and 'team work and being technically sound matters' - I have taken out three lessons, which can be applied in our daily lives. These are: 1. There are no guarantees in life. Never be 'too' sure of anything.  It changes in an instant. This was brought out in my post yesterday. Brazil's team and their supporters, seemed overconfident of victory. As a result, the team lacked focus during the game. We may be the better side, but the focus must be on the task at hand. Take example from Indian cricket team's skipper, MS Dhoni, who even under od

There is a Chinese proverb, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now!!" Be it for pleasure or for personal growth, we all have a list of things that we want to do. The mere thought of doing these things excites us. But, in our fast paced lives we rarely can  take out the time  to do these things . L ife continues to speed up, and we give up on our dreams. I have read of so many real life stories, wherein people in old age, regretted that when they were young, they did not listen to their hearts and did not do the things that they wanted to. They felt that they gave importance to the things that never really mattered.  This post is not about finding out what your heart wants, but about taking on things from your bucket list and achieving your goals (This website may help). Apart from our wishes and desires, we must work towards our self-growth too. If you haven't started yet, then going by the Chinese proverb, the time is

Good friend Dr.Vikas from Canada has asked me to write on 'staying focused'.  Let us first ask ourselves, why is it so hard to stay focused? A restless mind does not let you concentrate. It keeps distracting you. As a result, you get frustrated and become more restless. Many times this leads to procrastination.  We will cover all these points in this post. Years of allowing our minds to wander freely and not disciplining it, results in restlessness. But, there is hope. We have to take charge of our thoughts and control our minds. ( What I find a little amusing is that it is our mind itself that will try and control itself ) There are three steps. First, accepting and understanding how our restless mind works. Second, understanding the causes of restlessness and distractions. And the third is a no brainer-removing the causes.  All this is fairly simple but may not be easy. W e should be calm and patient, till we achieve it.  With practice and perseveran

Yesterday, I mentioned that we overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of sustained small changes on a daily basis.  Every habit that we have is the result of these actions that seemed small and irrelevant on a daily basis but over a period of time had large impact on our life. However, we easily forget this when we want to make a change.  We feel that change is meaningful only if some large, tangible outcome is associated with it. We try to achieve phenomenal improvements in a short time. And we do not give importance to small changes or improvements because those are not immediately noticeable. But, in the long run, these small changes add up to the big thing we are looking for. One would usually not notice any difference between a choice that is 1% better or worse. But with time these small changes compound and show noticeable changes. For example, eating a burger and an ice cream daily will not make us fat in a day but will certa

I know of a pharmacy, where one can find medication for any problem. The chemist there will help you with whatever you are looking for. Well! You know, there is no such place. Then, why are we always looking for quick fix solutions in our personal and professional lives? We want to grow rich quickly, get slim in a few days, learn new things in a jiffy, establish a new business in a few months and so on. We look at accomplished people and want to be like them. But are not ready to work as hard as them. We attribute their success to luck or personal brilliance. I don't know, if destiny or God gift can get you there but sustained hard work sure can. " Achievement requires more than a vision - it takes courage, resolve and tenacity .” — Neil Eskelin - author of The 24-hour Turn-Around. That's it-we have to be at it long enough for it to work. Nothing grows overnight(except bamboos). One can check history and find that even the most gifted artist and