Sharing Ideas Sharing Thoughts

Imagine a highway on which all of us are driving our cars. We can obviously drive our car the way we want.  But aren't we often frustrated about not driving our car to it's full potential. We end up with wishful thinking and regrets. Now imagine this - while driving our own car, we decided to call someone we care for. A few minutes into the call, we realize that he is not driving his car perfectly (as per us). And then we start sharing driving tips. he didn't ask for it but our good intention and deep love makes us share this unasked advice. And then we try to persuade him to drive his car in a way we feel appropriate.  He doesn't take our advice and we are the more frustrated.  Then why do we always try to steer others car?  Why can't we focus on our driving? Control the Controllables!

 Humans are fragile! We should be empathetic about others feelings.  "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel" -  Carol Buchner, Maya Angelou, and others. Let me use the analogy of scratches on the car. It hurts, when we find a new scratch on our car. It may leave us a bit bitter inside. The scratches and scuffs on our car don't go away. The car is still usable and we move on. Similarly, most humans have emotional scars they may be unaware of. Our job is to make sure that we avoid hurting someone. Just be mindful of your words and actions.  I recently read somewhere - 'if this was the last time you are speaking with someone, how will you speak?' I don't mean that we should should be trapped in this fear while talking to people. I am suggesting that we should be more thoughtful and kind.  Be thankful for every moment you have with people around you. And above all - Love Unconditionally!

One of the reason why we cannot attain mastery is because we hold a short term view on almost everything.  We don't want to wait to see the results of our actions. We want tangible outcomes; right now. Our default setting is -  actions (input) = result (output).  We don't want to factor in time here.  One reason for this behavior is that we crave for certainty. We feel that there is no guarantee that working patiently on something over a long period of time will result in something rare & beautiful.  The marshmallow experiment is an apt example to prove this. However, we need to fine tune it to fit our case. In the experiment, the marshmallow is the prize for patience. There is no long term grind expected from the child.  If we are building something, we lay one brick at a time. And we do this joyfully over a long time. We start with a plan and we do have a framework. But we focus on laying this one brick that is in our hand!